A Word of Wisdom for Prince William

I think all that surrounded the royal marriage was good.  The couple clearly shares a caring relationship, appeared to be well grounded considering their privileged existence and by their bearing and demeanor seemed to genuinely enjoy the day.  Apparently, to the extent possible, they intend to live a “normal” life – if there is such a thing for a man second in line to the throne.  Probably enough be said that at a time when the world is burdened with so many problems any event that fuels so much joy must in itself be good in all ways and manner.

I hope William and Kate are familiar with the adage that a married couple should never go to bed mad at each other.  I refer to this instruction in my public speaking.  I raise it in the context of the need for each of us to be self aware.  In any relationship there will be rough patches and when that occurs we need to be able to honestly assess what part we played in creating the problem visiting the relationship. To do that we must be able to answer the question, “Who am I?”

We all know what happens when we can’t answer that question- we blame the person sharing that relationship for the travail encountered.  The most serious consequence of this puzzle is that trust may be shattered. My definition of a trusting relationship is a “safe place”.  In different times we have all known folks whose first reaction to a problem is to see who they blame. I bet that doesn’t feel like a safe place?

So don’t let pride get in the way of admitting your role in stressing a relationship.  Dante labeled pride chief among all sins.  I can’t rank its position among man’s infirmities, but it’s a real culprit when problems arise in any relationship!

Prince William, my wife Jean and I have been married for 42 years – assuring Jean of sainthood!  During that time we have never gone to bed mad at each other – not once!  Here is how it works – pay attention!  When I get into bed each night I turn to Jean and say “Jean, I have no idea what I did today, but I know I was wrong and I’m sorry!  At that, Jean smiles, says “ok” and falls off to sleep.


About Santo Costa

Sandy Costa is an internationally respected speaker and business leader. Check out Sandy’s website at www.SantoCosta.com
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